It's The Little Things

Few things in life beat having a good security badge photo. They can make you or break you. If the slightest thing goes wrong between the time the photographer counts "3" and clicks the button, you'll end up looking stoned out of your mind. The reason: you blinked. Timing is everything.

I envision having a rough day in RSU and when all seems lost and chaos surrounds me, I can look down at my badge, see my pleasant self looking back at me and think, "It's gonna be ok."

I was one of the lucky ones when it came to the badge photo.

Take This Job And Shove It

Unless it's something you've set up ahead of time, no one wakes up in the morning and goes to work expecting it to be their last day. And even when it does happen, it's rarely a good thing. That was the case for me yesterday; and it was the best news I've heard all week. As it continues to sink in that my electrical contracting days are behind me, happiness replaces what was once frustration and discontent.

I have been actively persuing a new job since March of this year. I've applied to at least twenty or thirty different companies offering positions in human resources or social work. Until last week, I had been called for only one interview for a human resources position I was nowhere near qualified for. This week everything changed. I went in for an interview Tuesday and was called back for a second interview Thursday. They offered me the job Friday. I talked it over with my boss and he was fine with foregoing the standard two-week notice. I start my new job--nay, my new CAREER--Tuesday.

No more crawling under houses or going into attics. No more working with live wires and getting shocked. No more dealing with my boss, H.B. No more feeling a twinge of embarrassment everytime someone asks me what I do. No more. No more. No More.

And to all of the companies that passed on my resume': you can suck it.

I am now a Mental Health Counselor in the Adult Rapid Stablization Unit at VA Beach Psychiatric Center. Rock on.

..just....wow.

I knew this kid. Well, not really....friend of a friend is more like it. But still. I knew him.

At least I thought I did.

Just A Thought...

Attention all potential employers, especially those in the human resources department:

Instead of advertising for open positions requiring 5 or more years experience and multiple certifications, why not just promote someone from within? That will leave a more entry-level-oriented position open for me to fill and everybody would be happy.

Really, it would make all of our lives much easier.

Beginner's Mind and Teaching An Old Dog New Tricks

Earlier this week, I was listening to All Things Considered on NPR. They did a story about how our sense of adventure tends to extinguish as we age. Dr. Robert Sapolsky conducted a study that examined when and why we move from an adventure/novelty stage in life to a more comfortable/familiar stage in life. Dr. Sapolsky examined three areas to measure: music, food, and body piercing. He found that the music you discover when you're 14-21 is the music you'll listen to for the rest of your life. The novelty window for music is closed by age 35. Secondly, he found that if you're 26 or younger, you're more likely to try sushi for the first time than if you're over 26. If you're 39 and over and you've never tried sushi, that dog is barking up the wrong tree. Lastly, people are more likely to get body piercings between the ages of 16 and 23. Something weird happens neurologically the day you turn 24 and all chemical desires for body piercings cease to exist.

I listened to the broadcast, completely absorbed by what the study was looking for. And then I realized the implications for me.

I'm 26. And this kinda sucks. And I realized this sucks because I listen to NPR!

So I started going down the checklist: if it came out in the 90's, I still listen to it; I started eating sushi when I was 22, and I got my first piercing when I was 20. This outlook wasn't looking too good for me. I liked my adventuresome years...I'm not ready for them to end.

The study found that people who stayed in the same job for a long period of time and were successful at that job tended to move more smoothly into the comfortable/familiar stage. This behavior has also been observed in rats, bears, cats, and baboons. So the moral of the story is: jump from job to job and defy the rigors of aging!

I turned these things over in my head and realized the concept they were studying: beginner's mind. As we get older we tend to lose the ability to see things as if for the first time. Routine all too often sets in and we go through life on autopilot. These things happen without our realizing it; the next thing we know, we're 15 or 20 years older and we wonder what just happened. Beginner's mind is a practice, an attitude; the ability and intention to be open to anything. As T.S. Eliot described it, "to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

This is my plan, anyways.

Wake, Coffee, Eat, Repeat

The routine has had little variance as of late. This is not due to lack of creativity, mind you. It has more to do with lack of options. Every day this week I have gotten up mid-morning, driven to the coffee shop for a bagel and latte, and more often than not just camped out there all afternoon because it's the only place in town with Wi-Fi.

Tuesday I tried spice things up a bit by going to the mall...within ten minutes I had walked the entire perimeter and literally seen all there was to see. That'll teach me to venture out in a small town!

Thus, I have been reduced to *that* guy in the coffee shop. The guy that stays there all day, buying cup after cup of coffee. The guy that has become familiar to the employees after just a few days and they go in the back and ask each other, "so, does he not work at all?...because he's in here every day." The guy who reads the paper and spends the rest of the afternoon blogging about the world around him (complete with headphones and Moby). The truth is, I sit down with the paper only because I'm interested in the comics and The Jumble.

Speaking of the world around me, the two guys sitting in the leather couches to my right have just woken up from their afternoon siestas. The older of the two actually had to put his shoes back on. There's a certain irony that accompanies that picture--falling asleep with a book in one hand, a coffee mug in the other. Apparently, one cancels out the other. And being in public doesn't matter. There's a certain part of me that admires that. I've always thought this is how I'd spend my time if I was independently wealthy. I guess it just feels different when there really is no other choice.

My cousins are coming up for a couple of days. They'll be here tomorrow afternoon. Something tells me we'll probably be doing more of the same.

Maybe Starbucks and Kentucky Just Don't Mix

It was a big deal when Starbucks opened in Owensboro. I ventured in there yesterday; I'm not sure this town was ready to handle to cultural responsibility that comes with Starbucks. Here's why:

First, say "latte." [Very good]
Now say it with a western Kentucky accent. [It should sound something like "Laaa-tay"]

Thousands of cool points are lost everytime that word is uttered. And forget about adding whipped cream to anything. Here, all they have is Cool Whip.

Second, as I walked in the front door, a man was exiting sans his shirt. Apparently the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" rule doesn't apply to Kentucky, much less Starbucks. I had to make sure I hadn't accidently stumbled into a 7-11. If ever the two can be that easily confused, we may have a problem. I rest my case.

The Great Kentucky Adventure, Part I

Friday was travel day. My dad and I got on the road about 7am en route to western Kentucky. As we made our way up I-64, not 10 minutes into the drive, the traffic report informed us that US-58 was completely blocked at its entrance. Luckily, we were not going that way. But as we passed by and saw the cars stacking up, my dad, realizing that US-58 was a completely open road devoid of all traffic, made the statement: "That's good drag racin' road right there!" You can take the boy out of Kentucky, but you can't take the Kentucky out of the boy.

Inevitably on a road trip, no matter how carefully you plan and pack, no matter how many times you go over the house making sure you haven't forgotten anything, you eventually remember something that was in fact forgotten. For me, this began within the first 30 minutes (just far enough to not be able to turn around). I left my glasses. Owell...I'll just rely on my contacts all week, I told myself. Next I remembered where my checkbook was laying then realized the bills I had forgotten to take care of before I left. I guess I'll be paying those over the phone. The rest of the trip was spent with my dad and I sitting in near silence, taking turns remembering things we had forgotten as they came to us. ....Which, is actually kinda funny if you think about it: when you see that "ah-ha!" expression come over their face, usually followed by a verbal "ah-ha!" or "dammit!" you can only expect that something forgotten has just been remembered too little, too late. You are then left to laugh at the other person for forgetting such an important thing as a pair of glasses or a checkbook. Thanks dad.

We stopped for lunch at a West Virginia Travel Plaza. This was an experience. West Virginia, especially travel plazas and rest stops, is a cross between a circus freak show and an anthropological case study. After doing careful people watching, you realize that, yes, people like this do actually exist in real life, whereas before they only existed on the Weather Channel describing how the tornado sounded like a freight train as it tore apart their trailer.

After arriving at our destination and bidding my dad a good night, I found myself in my uncle's convertible looking up at a clear sky of stars. Dave Mason was playing on the CD player. It was one of the moments where you realize that you wake up every morning and can never be totally sure where you'll be at 11:30 at night. We were on our way to his girlfriend's house, 30 minutes outside of town....a completely spur-of-the moment trip. There was a hot tub and a couple of beers. We partied like retired rock stars. I was in bed by 1:30am.

I called my dad when I got up this morning. He stayed at his mother's place and had no idea of the night's festivities. He asked if I wanted him to come pick me up. "Well, Dad, that's the thing....I'm not where you think I am." I explained to him what we did and how my uncle and his girlfriend had both already left for work. It was fine...they left me with transportation. A convertible. A Saab convertible. A Saab turbo convertible. I fell in love.

The rest of the day was spent making preparations for the upcoming yard sale. Of the group of us, I am the only one who is not over the age of 55 and/or diabetic. That being said, I had to force myself to eat dinner at 4:30 this afternoon. I felt like I was in that Seinfeld episode where Jerry refused to eat dinner at 4:30 so that his parents could save $5 at the early bird special. I went along with it, but I vow to never eat at Shoney's again for the rest of my life. I'll spare the gory details of greasy food, the server's dental hygiene, and female upper lip hair, but suffice it say, Shoney's is now forever dead to me.

This was only the second day.

MTV Killed The Video Star

MTV turns 25 today. A quarter century of everything BUT music. MTV is finally older than their average viewer (age 20). With that being said...am I alone in thinking that MTV has turned into the definition of that which used to be cool but has lost it with age?

MTV has made an effort in not advertising the anniversary of their first broadcast. It's like they don't want anyone to know they're getting older. And why would they? Their target audience doesn't value anything that even remotely smacks of getting older. They're like the obstinate little kid fighting and clawing to stay in bed while the parent pulls them by the feet. Try as he might to fight it, he must grow up.

And maybe that's the problem: MTV has become a marketing force over the years and now they are left trying to convince themselves that, yes, they are still cool...right? (especially since their reassurance comes from the voice of someone 10 years their junior). Unfortunately, they've missed the whole point: you've gotta let "cool" happen. It is not achieved by trying or by making grand, exaggerated efforts. And it makes aging gracefully so much easier.

Happy Freakin' Birthday, MTV.

Why Is It Always The Losers That Get Caught Up In The Pyramid Schemes?

I stood in the Lowes parking lot. The sun was brighter than usual. I was busy loading flood lights into the back of my truck that I almost missed what the guy said to me as he walked by.

"When did you graduate from Tech?" he said. He caught me off guard. "I saw your license plate holder."

"Oh. I graduated in 2004." I responded. We made small talk for a few minutes. It turns out he grew up in Parisburg, WV. I told him I knew the place. The conversation then turned to my degree and what I did for a living. Immediately I felt a twinge of embarrassment.

"I got my degree in psychology and I'm trying to get a job in human resources, but I plan on going back for grad school in the next couple of years." His sister, it turns out, is a sociology professor at William & Mary. Maybe he could pass along my information to her to see if she had any ideas for work. It sounded good. I agreed.

He called me yesterday. It turns out most of her contacts have moved on and she's lost touch. That figures, I thought. He said he could email me what he had from her. Yeah, that sounded fine.

"Jason, this may sound like it's coming out of left field, but would you be looking for something part-time, maybe 15-20 hours a week making an extra $1500 a month?" I could smell the Amway/Quixtar sales pitch through the phone. And this guy didn't know who he was talking to. The Handy-Mart scene from Garden State was playing out in my head as he spoke:

Carl: "I'd like to talk to you both about a good opportunity for you and your loved ones. We all have dreams, I know I do! I'd like to talk to you about an exciting opportunity that people are talking about...."

Largeman: "Yeah....definitely..." [and SCENE!]

I hung up the phone and just had to laugh, realizing what process had just taken place. I was firm in my resolve; he was barking up the wrong tree. I had been prospected and I didn't even know it.

I'm still waiting for that email from his "professor-sister."