Falling slowly

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

~glen hansard

It looks like somebody's got a case of the Mondays

To the guy sitting next to me in class:

Why do you:

• insist on verbally responding to everything the professor says as if you're the only student in the class?
  
• audibly talk to yourself during class?
• try to participate in conversations you are not a part of AND NOWHERE NEAR the vicinity of said conversation?
  

Because, it's really annoying. And it's making me think evil thoughts.

Get it together, man.

What happens when you vote for a Democrat

God cries. And this guy gets mad at you.

At eight and half minutes, it's a bit long, but worth it. My favorite part is at 4:35 when he kicks the podium.




When I first saw this guy on YouTube, my reaction was, "Aw, hell. The fundamentalists have discovered the Internet."

Timing is everything

Last night, Meredith and I were hanging out with some friends when she informed me that it was time to go. I wasn't particularly ready to go, but given that it was 10:30pm and she had to be up much earlier than me, I obliged. On our way out to the car, she told me the real reason why we were leaving.

Meredith: I'VE HAD TO PEE FOR THE LAST HOUR!

Me: What?! Why didn't you go inside?! They have bathrooms in there, you know.

Meredith: Yeah, but I didn't know where they were and I didn't want to ask and make a big deal out of it.

Me: You know, you always do this. You did this when we met. The only reason why you left Starbucks when you did was because you had to pee! It's not right.

Meredith: Oh, please. If I had stayed and talked to you, we wouldn't have gotten married.

You can't always get what you want

The first installment of my contribution to True Religion is posted. Check it out.

Storyline? What storyline?

For one of my classes this semester, I've been volunteering at a local oncology clinic, talking to patients as they receive chemo and providing counseling when needed. This was the social commentary of the guy I spoke with this morning about T.V.:

"I really only watch the History Channel, and the Discovery Channel these days. A lot of shows on T.V. are so stupid! Especially those sitcoms. I can't stand them! I mean, all they do is sleep with each other and hop from one bed to the next, and for me, I need more of a storyline!"

Because I hate it when sitcoms think they can get into my pants just because they bought me dinner. Call me a prude, call me old fashioned, but I need at least twenty episodes of commitment before we go all the way.

I liked them better when they were about nothing.

Roughing it. With a plasma TV.

Last year, Meredith won a voucher for a two night stay at one of the oceanfront hotels. The only catch was that the voucher was only good during the off-season. We decided to redeem the voucher last weekend (for Saturday and Sunday), so when I called to make the reservation, I wasn't quite expecting the response I got. Apparently the hotel was undergoing renovations. Massive renovations. The specific word that was used to describe the condition of the hotel was "gutted." Like a fish.

Despite this, we were assured that the rooms were fine. There just wasn't a lobby. Or a restaurant. So no continental breakfast. No room service. Which I was looking forward to because I had never ordered room service before. So when we got up for breakfast Sunday morning, we decided to go to a breakfast place that I thought was recommended by a friend of mine. We walked the eight blocks to the restaurant only to find it was closed. Our only recourse was to walk back to the hotel, drive to IHOP and wait 20 minutes for a table, as IHOP was being overrun by the I didn't go to church crowd.

We spent Sunday afternoon in the room, trying to entertain ourselves with the brand new plasma TV they had just put in. Unfortunately, only local channels and a few select cable channels were available. There was an advertisement for on-demand movies, but no instructions about how to order them. When I called the front desk, they told me on-demand movies were unavailable. Which, in retrospect, seemed about right.

The last straw came later that night. After watching as much C.S.I. as we possibly could and realizing our food and drink rations were depleted, I called the front desk again to find out where the vending machines were. By this point I began to feel like if it required a call to the front desk, the outcome wasn't going to be good. No vending machines. Anywhere. I looked at Meredith and half jokingly asked if she just wanted to go home. And she did.

So at midnight, we checked out and made our way home. The front desk clerk probably thought the feds were closing in on us.

All we could do on the way home was laugh about the fiasco that was supposed to be our romantic weekend getaway.

At least we didn't pay for it.

WARNING: Side effects may lead to rainbows, puppies, and bowls of ice cream with sprinkles

After making a sarcastic comment about a t.v. commercial:

Meredith: Is there a pill you can take for the cynicism?

Me: Nope, sorry babe. That one's all me.

First I'd like to thank Al Gore for inventing the internet

It's not a Bloggie, but it'll do. Thank you to Melissa at YogaPulse for nominating me for the E for Excellence Award in blogging. My life is now complete.

Here are a few other blogs, each of them worthy of such a prestigious award:

Jairus' Daughter: yes, she is my wife. But she's also a kick ass writer.

Dooce: if you don't read this blog, you should.

Beauty and Depravity: a pastor's blog in Seattle with an interesting view of things.

All These Things: I just enjoy Allie's thoughts. Especially since she often updates it multiple times a day and I have no idea how she does it. I'm envious, I admit it.

Post Secret: an art project of mammoth proportions involving secrets, post cards and a lot of mail.

True Religion: My friend Peter's blog, of which I will soon be a contributing writer. Negotiations are ongoing pending an amicable contract agreement.

Alt-City: My church's blog. It's good.

Civic duty

I haven't been this excited to vote for anyone in anything, much less a primary. Actually, I don't think I've even voted in a primary before.

I'm very much looking forward to seeing the results tonight.

Change is coming.

Happy pills!

A customer came in the coffee shop last night and I hadn't seen her in several months. As I made her drink, she told me how she had been sick for a while and was finally getting better. When she asked how I was doing, I gave her the obligatory "fine." I told her school was going well, but honestly, I don't think she even remembered that I was in school.

But as soon as I said things had been "fine," I knew it wasn't true. I mean, honestly, how do you tell someone you barely know that you've finally started to come out of several months of depression? And I'm now coming out of it only because I saw my doctor and she prescribed me some medication. Say hello to my little friend, Zoloft.

The first 3 or 4 days on the medication were absolutely horrible. My doctor said I might feel a little nausea, maybe some diarrhea, blah, blah, blah. Nothing could have prepared me for what I went through. The first 48 hours consisted of waves of nausea, dizziness, jitteriness, and a headache, all cycling through every five minutes. Needless to say, it sucked. I had never taken a medication that actually made me feel worse. I even entertained the notion--briefly--that between the side effects and depression...I'll take the depression.

Once the side effects subsided, however, a world I had completely forgotten about became real again. It's hard to describe unless you've experienced it, and words don't begin to do it justice, but when I say that the darkness lifted and a new day dawned--that's pretty much what it was. A little cheesy, yeah.

But I'll take it.

And now for something completely different

DO NOT ADJUST THE CONTRAST OF YOUR SCREEN!

Well, adjust it if you want but it won't change anything. After nearly two years of the same boring template from Blogger, I decided a complete re-vamp was in order, including pictures. Which, believe it or not, I've gotten some flak about. Some complained that the site wasn't "visually friendly" and had "too many words."

And to that I'm not quite sure what to say, except that the old format sucked and I'm glad I don't have to look at it anymore.

Not bad, if I do say so myself.

What do you think?

Because you look like a movable plate used for regulating the draft in a stove or furnace

A conversation before class today:

Me: You're looking very damper today.

Classmate: Damper? You mean 'dapper?'

Me [slight pause]: Damn it!

Time and perspective

Several years ago while I was still going to college in Florida, my brother called and invited me to go on a charter fishing trip with him in Biloxi, MS. While we were on the boat, we began throwing out ideas of how to spend our evening when my brother realized that we were only a hop, skip, and a jump from New Orleans. I had just turned 21. I was sold.

Despite my parent's warnings, and knowing full well what our intention in New Orleans was, we made our way to Bourbon Street. Eyes were wide. Alcohol was consumed. Details remain sketchy. I do remember, however, barely making it out the window of the car to vomit as my alcohol consumption came back to bite me in the ass on the drive home. I think we had to stop at a car wash before going home. As far as I'm concerned, if your drive home from New Orleans didn't involve a car wash, you didn't really go to Bourbon Street.

Now, I've told that story to people many times and it was not until recently that I imagined the impact of my actions on other people. Seven years later, I am asking myself whether or not anyone found themselves driving down I-10 West at 3am on a Sunday morning in late November, and as the soft droll of their vehicle traveling down the highway began to lull them into an almost hypnotic state, the silence of the night was shattered as my vomit splattered against their windshield and they screamed "WHAT THE?!"

Just a thought.